Current:Home > News'Vanderpump Rules' star Raquel Leviss says she has a 'love addiction.' Is it a real thing? -Quantum Capital Pro
'Vanderpump Rules' star Raquel Leviss says she has a 'love addiction.' Is it a real thing?
Burley Garcia View
Date:2025-04-09 08:20:39
Is it possible to become addicted to love? "Vanderpump Rules" star Raquel Leviss − and mental health experts − say it is.
Leviss, who now goes by Rachel and gained notoriety this year for having an affair with her co-star and former friend Ariana Madix's then-boyfriend Tom Sandoval, revealed on the "Just B with Bethenny Frankel" podcast Wednesday she recently learned she suffers from love addiction.
Though love addiction doesn't appear in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, which psychologists use to diagnose mental health conditions, experts agree it's a legitimate phenomenon and one that can lead to disastrous consequences.
"You can blow up your life or other people's," says Stacy Thiry, a mental health clinician with Grow Therapy, adding that these people can be driven to affairs, cyber-stalking and other destructive behavior. "It can be dangerous. Oftentimes it can lead to abusive cycles in relationships as well, so it really is something to be aware of."
What causes love addiction?
At its core, love addiction is a form of anxiety characterized by fears of unworthiness and abandonment.
Stephanie Sarkis, a psychotherapist and author of the book "Healing from Toxic Relationships," says people with anxious attachment styles or those who experienced neglect, abuse or abandonment in childhood are more likely to become addicted.
As a result of experiencing absent or fleeting love early in life, these people, she says, crave approval, affection and intimacy as adults, similar to how some may crave drugs or alcohol.
"You feel like you don't have value outside of a relationship, and you put a lot of meaning onto your relationship to the point where you feel like you can't function without it," Sarkis says.
Love addiction can get exacerbated if someone is in a relationship in which affection arrives intermittently and unpredictably, she adds. This causes the person to wonder when their next "hit" of love is coming and, by extension, their brains to crave it even more.
"It becomes like an addiction where you get a hit basically from this person contacting you, and then, if they don't contact you, you can go through anxiety and rumination, obsession about the relationship," she says. "If a person is inconsistent with their attention, our brains tend to get hooked on that, because it's like a drug hit and withdrawal."
Adam Jablin, a certified life coach and author of the book "Lotsaholic: From a Sick to Sober Superman," says he's worked with many clients who had a love addiction that compounded other habits.
Jablin notes a more accurate name for love addiction might be approval addiction, since the rush sought is quite different from the feelings of security found in a healthy relationship.
"A lot of people with love addiction, they're craving approval," he says. "What they're not realizing is that love and approval are two totally separate things."
'Vanderpump Rules' drama:Tom Sandoval, Raquel Leviss, Ariana Madix and forgiveness
Mega Millions reached over $1.5B.When does playing the lottery become a problem?
Struggling with love addiction? Try these tips
If you think you might have a love addiction, therapists offer the following tips:
- Seek therapy: Mental health experts agree love addiction is best treated with the help of a professional.
- Join a support group: Thiry recommends joining groups like Love Addicts Anonymous online, and Sarkis adds 12-step programs like Co-Dependents Anonymous and Adult Children of Alcoholics & Dysfunctional Families can also help people cope with love addiction. "Having a group environment can be really helpful, because that can be an opportunity to have healthy relationships with healthy boundaries modeled for you to experience what healthy does look and feel like," Thiry says.
- Figure out your attachment style: Finding out if you have an anxious attachment style through counseling or research can also help shed light on what you're feeling.
- Feel your feelings: "Part of the healing process is getting in touch with feeling your feelings and confronting them and experiencing them," Sarkis says. "It can be daunting for someone that has survived by shoving their feelings down. It can take some work, and progress comes in stages. You want to be really gentle with yourself."
'Vanderpump Rules' reunion highlights:Tom Sandoval, Ariana Madix get into heated fight
Many people cheat in the summer.How to prevent it and improve your relationship.
veryGood! (9558)
Related
- Warm inflation data keep S&P 500, Dow, Nasdaq under wraps before Fed meeting next week
- Through 'The Loss Mother's Stone,' mothers share their grief from losing a child to stillbirth
- Save 30% on the Perfect Spongelle Holiday Gifts That Make Every Day a Spa Day
- KISS OF LIFE reflects on sold
- Apple iOS 18.2: What to know about top features, including Genmoji, AI updates
- Secretary of State Blinken is returning to the Mideast in his latest diplomatic foray
- How to watch 'A Charlie Brown Christmas' for free: Special date, streaming info
- How to watch the 'Blue Bloods' Season 14 finale: Final episode premiere date, cast
- McConnell absent from Senate on Thursday as he recovers from fall in Capitol
- The Sundance Film Festival unveils its lineup including Jennifer Lopez, Questlove and more
Ranking
- Whoopi Goldberg is delightfully vile as Miss Hannigan in ‘Annie’ stage return
- How to watch the 'Blue Bloods' Season 14 finale: Final episode premiere date, cast
- Beyoncé takes home first award in country music category at 2024 Billboard Music Awards
- 'Squid Game' without subtitles? Duolingo, Netflix encourage fans to learn Korean
- Sarah J. Maas books explained: How to read 'ACOTAR,' 'Throne of Glass' in order.
- ParkMobile $32.8 million settlement: How to join class
- Drew Barrymore has been warned to 'back off' her guests after 'touchy' interviews
- Oregon lawmakers to hold special session on emergency wildfire funding
Recommendation
Bill Belichick's salary at North Carolina: School releases football coach's contract details
China's new tactic against Taiwan: drills 'that dare not speak their name'
I loved to hate pop music, until Chappell Roan dragged me back
'The Later Daters': Cast, how to stream new Michelle Obama
All That You Wanted to Know About She’s All That
Secretly recorded videos are backbone of corruption trial for longest
Beyoncé's BeyGood charity donates $100K to Houston law center amid Jay
Taxpayers could get $500 'inflation refund' checks under New York proposal: What to know